Big Wild Love

March 30, 2020
Journalist and life coach Murray’s excellent debut provides women a road map for personal growth, development, and pursuit of romantic love. Murray believes the foundations of growth are self-love and managing one’s “vicious” inner voice. “Change your limiting beliefs, change everything,” she counsels, and notes that it’s impossible to attract or enjoy romantic love without first loving oneself. Her method of “big wild love” requires a deliberate, intentional approach to taking care of oneself, and understanding that at everyone’s core is a set of beliefs that can both define and derail one’s pursuit of love. She explains how engaging in self-exploration and uncovering beliefs (conscious and unconscious) about love can lead to happily ever after, explaining that feeling “deserved to be loved” is the key to finding the right partner. She also provides helpful questionnaires and advice for responding to relationship disharmony (such as the “Two Day Relationship Detox” plan). With an empathetic tone, Murray demonstrates that the best way of dealing with uncertainty is simply to own it. Her empowering guide will be ideal for fans of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.

In her self-help debut, Murray encourages women to let go of unsatisfying relationships by following a 6-step plan that builds on a popular TEDx talk she gave on the topic. Murray had an "epiphany" after her boyfriend, Hector, stood her up for an appointment to go house-hunting with a real estate agent: Even though they'd been together for 12 years, he was never going to commit. That realization helped prompt her to ditch that romance and set her sights on what she calls "Big Wild Love," or "a deliberate, intentional pursuit of taking care of oneself that allows a woman to see herself perhaps for the very first time." In this book-length pep talk, she urges others who feel stuck--whether in bad marriages or unrewarding relationships of another sort--to cultivate self-love and to go for what they most want in life. Using real-life examples culled from women who reached out to her after her TEDx talk, "The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go," Murray describes a 6-step process that she believes can bring people through the "tunnel of pain" and into the light of their own "Big Wild Love." Some of her advice will be overfamiliar to frequent consumers of self-help books--endorsing "self-care and self-love" are clich�s of the genre--and the writing can be hokey: "Beyond those raw and inflamed nerve endings comes a wondrous regrowth--of resilience and fortitude and veracity." But along with bromides like "be realistic" and "acknowledge your mistakes," Murray offers more practical steps toward turning things around, such as planning "a two-day relationship detox" that follows the hour-by-hour schedule she suggests. She also offers writing prompts on topics like, "Do I fear that I won't be OK if I take a risk?" As for whether her advice works: For some readers, Murray's experience will speak for itself. After leaving the dithering Hector, she met a better man for her on Match.com. After four dates, they moved in together, and after 14 months, they got married. Practical if often shopworn advice on how to move beyond unfulfilling relationships.

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May 1, 2020

Geared toward women who are "settling" in relationships and life, this title from TEDx speaker Murray encourages readers to be brave and to let go of what's not working in their lives and embark on a path of potential and fulfillment. The author provides a six-step framework for release from unhappy partnerships, which includes realizing that the relationship will never work, dealing with the aftermath, exploring options, and making plans to move forward. She relates real-life stories, research, and insights into how accessible changing one's life can be. VERDICT Readers who find themselves stuck in bad relationships or situations will savor Murray's advice, as it's relatable and easy to put into practice.

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